Trump’s post-Covid re-birth

October 23, 2020, New York – In a surprising 180 degree turnaround US President Donald Trump has completely reversed his position on Covid-19. Better known for mocking the science, pandering to anti-maskers and blaming cities on both coasts for spikes in corona virus cases, Trump has emerged from his own “deathbed experience” of the virus apparently transformed.

In a hastily staged press conference in New York, a city he has not visited since the pandemic was declared in March, Trump stated, “Having experienced it first hand myself, I know, I know, how devastating this illness can be.”

In order to assist with the pandemic, Trump announced he has donated the crown jewel of his real estate empire, Trump International Hotel, to the City of New York, to help in the battle against the COVID-19 virus.

Known for his close yet rarely scrutinized ties to the construction industry, Trump was almost miraculously able to swing the trades into action to renovate; the top 25 floors of the hotel were converted virtually overnight into hospital facilities with state-of-the art ventilators in every suite. Minimal renovation was required to the lower floors which are being used for palliative care patients considered to be terminal.

“I felt I should do what I can,” the President said during the press conference announcing, “I want New Yorkers afflicted by this horrible thing to have the best, up to the end if it comes to that, and we hope it doesn’t, but it can, we know that.”

Accompanied by New York City Mayor, Bill de Blasio, who had all but given up on any kind of reasonable engagement with the President after Trump referred to New York as “a shithole,” the Mayor remarked on the turn around, “There are many, many people in the 1%, in the .1%, who know they can help but are just not doing it. It is gratifying to see the President leading by example. Who knows, maybe through all this he’s growing as a person.”

“The hotel industry is taking a beating with this thing anyway,” Trump added, “We’re dying. The towers of New York are empty. Nobody’s coming. And we don’t know where this is going. After it’s over, if it’s ever over, the City can give it back. We’ll fumigate and be back in business in no time. It’s a win-win.”

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